FRESH MEAT!

If you haven't heard the phrases "Two houses or one?", "Have you seen my body?", "Would you like a trim?", "Have y'all seen the honeymoon suite?", "Pop goes the weasel!", or "FRESH MEAT!" you haven't visited the haunted spa and resort in Possum Creek yet. So, there could only be a few possible valid reasons why one has not come out to Possum Creek yet and I'm here to list them:

Reason #1 - You have indulged yourself in too many deep fried Twinkies at the NC state fair and you are unable to roll yourself out of bed much less waddle into town...mmmm...Twinkie coma.

Reason #2 - You have gone into a deep depression following NC State's tragic loss to Duke...in football. Don't worry Pack, basketball season will be here soon enough.

Reason #3 - You have spent the last week molding your body into that of a small child, senior citizen, and pregnant lady in order to increase your chances of getting an H1N1 vaccine.

If you can't use one of the above reasons for visiting Possum Creek, don't worry - you still have plenty of time to make a reservation. The house will be open 10/23-10/25 and 10/28-10/31. Check the website for exact times. Don't forget to read the review of the haunted house on Buried.com to learn about how you can become FRESH MEAT!

2009 Haunted House Trailer

So, the filming crew barely made it out of the house alive in order to finish the 2009 Haunted House trailer. Opening night is Thursday, October 15 at 7pm. Come check it out at the former Circuit City building across from Crabtree Valley Mall. Be warned - watching this before going to bed could make you more excited for the Haunted House opening night to arrive!!

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Found the box I been lookin' fer...

Well that was a fine how do ya do. Last week, I done found me that box that I was tellin' you about. The only problem is that it looked like some dern fool had opened it before me and was already fussin' with all of the chemicals inside. By the time that I got there, the box was open and its contents spread this way and that all over the room. So, I started pokin' 'round to see if I could find anything interesting to acquire when all the sudden I feel this big ol' crack to the back of my head. As I'm blackin' out, I hear this really low and creepy laugh from behind me.

So's I wake up the next mornin' in the beauty salon. 'Ceptin' for a real bad headache, I reckon that I'm more or less in one peice. So, as I'm fixin' to leave, I catch a look at myself in the mirror and see that I been shaved. No beard an' hardly any hair left up top. So, I thinks to myself: "Why that no good varmit! If I find out who done this there's gunna be heck to pay!" Then, I stick my hand in my pocket and pull out a note that reads:

"This wuz a warnin'. You aught not be where ya ain't suppost ta be. Next time, I won't be so kind."

No signature, but I figure I ain't gonna be pokin' round no more for that thar box. I guess the silver linin' as they say is that people won't be able to identify 'ol JR no more.

More Lightin???

Dang burn it. Some fool done been addin more lights to that there "spa"... That's gonna make it more difficult fer me to get around without bein seen. I did hear the strangest noise whats been comin outta the old sanitarium... I don'k know what could be makin that racket, and quite honestly, it even unnerves me. I will have ter check it out, though. It might be a good cover fer me experimentin. At least there ain't that many lights in that house, so I should be able ta have some fun there.

Oh my... I's think I done found what I's been lookin fer. I done rigged up this here lotion from some o the spare chemikals n medicinals that I done found that some fool done hauled in here. I knows it be helpin that darn skin issue that I's had since they tried to fry me last year... I can feel it workin. Mind you, it ain't the best feelin, but they say, no pain, no gain, so I must be gainin quite a bit. The darnest thing seems ta be happinin ter me. Some days, I done feel like I's grown taller. I even have ter start duckin me head through doors fer fear of knockin meself silly... Other days, I's be back ter me normal hite, and don't have no fear of hittin me head goin through a door. I's got ter figure that out...
I's also noticed that Hill Billy One has started to akt more fun like. He always does start aktin more fun like this time o year... I can't wait ter see him when he really starts ter let loose... It's killer fun. Heheheeeee. Speakin o' that, I's got ter check on that new fancy outfit I done sent off fer, With the openin of this here "Spa and Resort" so close, I don't think I's be able ter stay hidden with this durn prison jumpsuit still stuck ter me skin... If'n I's ever jet me hands on that fool who done pulled the switch on me last year... we'll, lets just say there will be another fresh grave in the cemetery.

What in tarnation???

So, things ain't goin' the way that I reckoned they would. Way back a coupla weeks ago, I was keepin' my head down on account that I figured that I wasn't welcome. Then, the other day , I was just hunkerin' down on some goobers, mindin' my own business and along comes that Hill Billy One guy. I think that he's gonna be all riled up since I had left one of the guest rooms that I was a'spossed to be workin' on all cattywampus. (I had me a hankerin' for some goobers, so I took a bit of a break.) But no! He was hunky dorey. He even recognized me an' called me by name. Can you beleive it? We exchanged a few kind words and he went on his way, happy as a clam. Something's definitely not right with that one.

Oh, and that reminds me. 'member that box that me and Ol' Bill found on the truck the other day? Well, I was a larkin' the other day and found it in one of the back rooms. It was all chained up, so I couldn't get into it. Since it was real late at night, I skittered over to Ol' Bill's tent cuz he shoulda been laid out. Problem is, he weren't there. Now Ol' Bill's not one to stay out too late, so this was peculiar. I asked 'round this morning, and nobody's heard him 'round recently. Exceptin' one person. The foreman Adam says that Ol' Bill just took off a few nights back and he won't be back. Now, that ain't right neither. Ol' Bill wouldn't just leave his stuff behind. Something ain't right and Adam knows what's what.

On the plus side, I get to keep what's in the box for myself. Now, if I can only find some quiet time when nobody's around to git into the box by my lonesome....

JR, what's your malfuncshun? Why are you tellin' all these people about my spos-ed Hijinks... Ya know wut it's like dis time of year. The weather gits a little cooler, the winds start a rustlin the leaves. It's that time again. It's time to be plantin trees, you always plant in the fall. That's why I was in that mess of a graveyard. I'm kindof curious too, we hain't had anyone buried in the graveyard since November 1st of last year... I'm jus a lil curious about those fresh graves myself.

Biggest thing I know, is I gots this massive headache, right here on my fore noggin, had it for a solid day now. I will say that de past two years, about the beginnin of October, my head jus starts a poundin, then somewhere around middle way de month, I just black out. Not sure what happens, but along about November all my wits come back to me.

I will tell you we got some new trees planted in and around the rezort, it's lookin all kinds of spiffy for the openin' in a few weeks. Tell you theres been a lot of beatin and bangin over at the old manor, and the ole sanitarium has a fresh coat of paint, oh I mean SPA, yeah the SPA, I still don't get why folks will pay upards ONE HUNDRED and FIFTY dollars to have some one dump some die on der hair, can you believe it??